How very apt that on the weekend when Daniel Levy finally walked on his wild side, Tottenham came up with a performance that was a perfect fit for a world gone howling mad. It was so silly, and so gloriously daft, you almost had to imagine what Gareth Bale might make of it. Almost. Because who cares, actually? Sometimes there are smaller pictures to look at, so while we can all wait in wonder at Bale’s return, and also ponder the next move of Dele Alli, it is occasionally nice to focus on the basic hilarity of chaos.
Especially when it is a game like this one, when those on the pitch gave the impression they had spent their morning licking Amazonian toads. What a delightful trip they embarked on, throwing up a show that had seven goals and barely a single minute where any of it made sense.
The gist of it is that Spurs hammered Southampton in a game they could have lost. It could have been a heavy defeat, too. But somehow, bizarrely, it didn’t go that way.
They were trailing to a delightful goal from Danny Ings, who Mourinho wanted to sign, and they were playing fairly uselessly. And then, from nowhere obvious, Harry Kane and Son Heung-min hijacked the whole thing. It was marvellous.
The next four goals of the match, for 1-1, 1-2, 1-3 and 1-4, all came the same way: Kane assist, Son goal. None were easy finishes, all were good passes, and all were a variant in one aspect or another on the idea that Ralph Hasenhuttl’s defensive line was far too high up the pitch. By the time Kane scored a fifth, Hasenhuttl had a slight Leicester look about him; when Ings scored a late penalty for 5-2, it was all the manager could do to muster a smile.
His team have now lost twice in the league and once in the Carabao Cup this season, and few defeats that follow will look anything like this, where they held most of the possession, had 14 shots and controlled the first half before conceding to virtually every counter that they faced.
‘What is this?’ he shouted after the fourth. Yes, quite.
Inwardly, Mourinho likely asked himself the same thing. We are growing used to a Tottenham side who lack the efficiency associated with their leader.
While this win was far more exciting than most, and one of increased importance after their opening-day defeat against Everton, there are still worries. For instance, what sort of shape will they be in by the time Bale is fit next month? Primarily, their defence is a glaring vulnerability.
That was apparent again, both in Ings’ goal and the multiple chances gifted to Che Adams. Even with attackers as good as Son, Kane, Bale and Lucas Moura, Spurs do not have a backline that inspires confidence. Time will tell how they cope with the fixture pile-up that means a further three games in five days.
Mourinho previously called it a ‘joke’, but surprisingly made only three changes to the side who scraped past Lokomotiv Plovdiv in the Europa League on Thursday.
That meant no place for Alli, and whatever we deduce from that, while Harry Winks, Moura and Tanguy Ndombele were brought in fresh.
The initial response was a performance that looked tired. Tottenham went behind to an Ings goal — his touch on the outside of his right boot to control a Kyle Walker-Peters pass and his finish across Hugo Lloris were exceptional — and they faced multiple other scares, including an Adams shot that Lloris saved brilliantly.
As for Spurs attacks, there wasn’t much. They had two Kane goals disallowed by the VAR for offside, and their 45th-minute goal was their first touch in the Saints area.
It owed plenty to Ndombele, who was making his first start since March. His relationship with Mourinho has been full of undulations, however, and he was then subbed off at half-time — the boss explained it was because he still lacks sufficient conditioning.
The second half was bonkers. Adams had a chance within a minute, and within the next half-hour Spurs were 4-1 up, each because of Kane playing Son in behind. Kane’s strike for 5-1 came after an Erik Lamela shot came back off the post. Ings pulled a goal back with a penalty after a Matt Doherty handball.
